With My Body
by Londoncalling89
Summary: Intimacy had always been difficult for Charles Carson. For Elsie Hughes the sins of the flesh had always been a great mystery. But now their marriage will bring both problems to light.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I will at some point finish my other stories but this idea has been burning in my mind for sometime. There will likely only be two or three chapters. I regretfully do not own these characters, if I did the show would most likely be shown on HBO and not ITV. Enjoy and if you've a moment to spare a review would be much appreciated! **

Intimacy had never been easy for Charles Carson. Throughout his entire life getting close to people had been difficult. Even with his own mother he had bristled at her touch, moved away as she asked about his thoughts and feelings. Everything felt better deep inside him, away from others, he could rely on himself, others would only invariably let him down.

Despite his difficult with intimacy he had in fact reached some level of it with Mrs. Hughes after nearly thirty years working together. Indeed most days she knew his mind better then he knew it himself. They had created their own language with looks and gestures that over the years became a silent tribute to an unconventional love they shared, though it took him until the reality of retirement had come to admit such a thing. When he finally accepted that he loved her dearly, very dearly in fact, more than he had ever thought himself capable of, it had seemed a logical decision to request her hand in marriage. If their past thirty years together had shown him anything it was that the two could live happily in harmony with each other the rest of the days of their lives.

Charles Carson however had forgotten one very vital part of a marriage, the part he had never become even remotely familiar with. Physical intimacy and lustful desires.

Yes in his youth he had experienced lust and want but he had always been careful to contain these desires to himself. For along with lust invariably came responsibility and life outside what he had always pictured for himself. By the time he was thirty he had pushed aside the desires of the flesh and banished them to the darkest corners of his mind where he had also filled away any socialist ideals that had once appealed to him.

It wasn't until the day of his wedding when Mr. Bates had cautiously but firmly approached the subject of the wedding night. With horror the fantasy's of his youth returned, of creamy skin and pert breasts. He had thought briefly to cancel the wedding. To tell Mrs. Hughes that he had decided he was unfit for marriage and flee to the cottage to await death alone. However recalling the brightness in her eyes and the tears that rolled down her proud cheek at her acceptance of his proposal told him it would be impossible to retreat now. He loved her and she loved him. Perhaps he thought hopefully that she would believe herself to be too old for such things and that would be the end of it.

If only he had known the passionate fantasy's that had been plaguing her since his evening on bended knee.

The wedding had been a whirl. Hours of dancing and eating and enjoying the company of all they loved had finally concluded and the bride and groom walked hand in hand to their cottage.

"Its been a lovely day." Charles said gently squeezing her hand as they neared their own home.

"It has, and it shall be a lovely evening." She said with a slight giggle.

"Mrs. Carson, that sounded rather risqué." He said suddenly becoming very concerned again.

"My darling Mr. Carson, that was rather the point. Have you not been looking forward to this evening?" She said.

"I will admit I have been looking forward to this _day_ for a long while. I must also sadly admit that I had forgotten about the wedding night until very recently." He said, deciding she didn't need to know how recently.

"Truly?" She said shocked and stopping in her tracks.

"I'm afraid I have spent the majority of my life being a chaste bachelor. I had forgotten or at least tried to forget that there were…aspects of life I was not…engaging in." He said looking at her.

"That does not mean however," he said quickly "that I do not have…interest in such things. Gods this is rather a painful conversation my dear, perhaps we can continue this walk in silence until we reach our new home." He pleaded trying to pull her towards their very near front door.

"Charles Carson, I shall not take another step from this spot until we have this sorted."

"Elsie…I-"

"Do you intend to make love to me tonight?" She said plainly, secretly enjoying watching the color come to his cheeks.

"This is not an appropriate conversation!" He said in a huff.

"We are married now Charles, nothing we do or say is inappropriate, especially when it regards our marriage bed."

"Why are you so…" he stumbled, wondering what had gotten into his normally levelheaded bride.

"Because I have fretted so these past few weeks wondering if I would please you in such a manner."

"What?"

" I know we can get along well in every other regard, this is the only thing that is uncertain."

"I don't understand."

"I know I can keep house and Mrs. Patmore has been teaching me to make your favorite foods. I know that should we argue that we can come to a compromise, I know that we can sip sherry in the evening and sit beside the fire reading books and be very content as man and wife but I cannot be certain that I can please you in the physical way a woman should please her husband and it has been terrifying me."

"Elsie, you please me greatly by just holding my hand."

"Perhaps, but you may want to do more then just hold hands." She said looking down intently at the ground, hoping perchance it would open and swallow her whole.

"Do you?" He asked.

"Yes. Being retired, being married is an opportunity to explore all those things that have been beyond my reach for so many years. Of course if you would rather not…well I will be just as content to share a goodnight kiss."

"Elsie," Charles began slowly, "I've every intention of making love to you tonight. Please have no more fears that you will not please me, in fact it is I who should be worried…actually I am rather worried. But we will weather this storm, like all others together." He said and reached down to place a gentle kiss on her lips.

A short while later they lay in bed side by side, looking awkwardly at the ceiling. When Charles had entered the bedroom Elsie had already climbed under the covers and had pulled them up high, her arms laying tightly at her sides above the blankets, fingers fidgeting nervously and her teeth gently biting her lower lip. He had chuckled at the sight ,which in turn had earned him a sheepish smile from her. Following her example he had climbed in beside her and laid his arms above the blankets at his side.

Slowly his right hand found her left on the bed and squeezed it tightly.

Turning her head she stared at his profile for a long moment before softly whispering, "I love you Charles."

He turned his head to meet her eyes. "I love you." He said his free hand coming round to gently stroke her cheek.

"Kiss me?" she asked, her eyes closed at the touch his hand upon her cheek.

"My pleasure." He said rolling towards her slightly and pressing his lips against her.

He felt himself beginning to react to their kisses. She began to nuzzle her body closer to his as their passionate kisses continued robbing her of breath and making her head dizzy with desire. Unable to breath she pulled her lips away from his and turned her head away from him taking in large gulps of air as her body began to shake.

"Are you alright?" Charles asked sitting up alarmed, gently he put one arm over her to lean across trying to read her face in the shadows.

"I'm fine its just…I've lost my breath."

"Oh…um…" He began to pull away but her hand reached out quickly to rest on his arm over her.

"Its wonderful Charles. Wonderful." She said looking deep into his eyes, begging him to continue with silent looks she knew he'd understand.

With a slight nod he rolled himself fully over her, her legs quickly falling open to him. Careful of his great weight he braced his arms on either side of her.

"I love you Charles." She said quickly claiming his lips before he could return the sentiment.

Their passionate kisses began again and Charles had nary an idea what to do at this point. He understood the mechanics of the actions of course but all he could focus on was the softness of her lips and the worry of what his bulk of weight might do to her unchecked. Her hands began gently stroking his sides, rubbing across his back. Suddenly she bent her knees up and thrust her hips towards his. He moaned aloud at the sudden contact and she pushed her hips against his again. All thought and logic had left her by this point, primal need spurred her actions.

He was growing painfully hard, he knew he must do something soon or he would shame himself and his new bride. Readjusting his weight he reached one hand down and pulled her nightgown up.

He hadn't properly considered what to do about either of their underthings. He knew for him he could easily push his shorts down slightly to allow the necessary movements but how could he access her. Silently he hoped that she might have forgone female underthings but alas as the gown rose higher up her quivering thighs the white lace of her knickers showed themselves. He fumbled now truly unsure what to do, tentatively he touched the knickers searching for some sort of ribbon or tie, mindful not to touch the prize hidden underneath them. He found a satin bow at the front and followed it down and let out a slight sound of shock to discover an opening in them.

"Charles, is everything alright?" She said pulling back from his lips, concerned at such an odd noise arising from him at such a delicate moment.

"Yes, I just…I'm not as familiar with female garments as a husband ought to be." He whispered.

"Well you soon shall be," she said with a slight chuckle. "I hope you not think me wanton my dear but they all come with a slit in the middle."

"I would never think you wanton my love." He said, his anxiety beginning to wane, even in the most intimate of situations he took comfort that they were still themselves, the marriage bed it seemed had not turned her into a doe eyed damsel.

"Then forgive my saying but…I want you Charles." She said gently stroking the side of his face. He gave a quick nod, all his anxiety quickly returning as his shaking hand quickly pulled down his shorts just slightly. Without further thought or concern he pushed himself into the welcoming body of his wife.

She had let out a small grunt of pain at first but had quickly flashed him happy and relieved smile.

The sensation was a completely knew one for Charles. He'd never experience the delights of the flesh but found his body knew exactly what to do. His rhythm came naturally as he moved his body against hers, picking up speed at the wonderful noises coming from her. Loving the slight of her head thrown back and her eyes tightly shut. How he now wished he could undress her and witness how their loving was effecting the whole of her body but that was a concern for another day, for as he sped up he felt himself racing closer and closer to an unknown prize. With a mighty roar his body released and he could hold his weight no longer. He collapsed on top of his wife, his entire body humming with electricity and joy. After a few moments the caresses of her hands across his back awoke him to the world again as he rolled off of her and pulled up his shorts and pajama trousers.

"I love you Elsie." He said, fading away into the world of sleep. She smiled at him sweetly then turned to look at the ceiling again.

She wasn't sure what she had expected but what had occurred certainly wasn't it. Didn't men and women undress during such intimacies? She wouldn't flatter herself to believe she had a great figure but she had assumed that he might want to have seen it or touch it. She had always found that men seemed obsessed with women's breasts but her husband had not even caressed her there. In fact, she thought sadly, he had only touched her to find the opening of her knickers. She lay in bed, worrying her bottom lip that perhaps she had been all-wrong about what marriage was supposed to be like, what physical intimacy was supposed to be like. She tried to turn her mind from her thoughts just before the tears began to fall.


	2. Chapter 2

They continued on in a similar fashion for the next few weeks. Their days were pleasant enough. Usually spent gardening or strolling through the village. Charles discovered great joy in simply parading his beautiful wife around village green for all to see. Their nights were often filled with restful, undisturbed sleep but once or twice a week Charles would linger as he kissed his wife goodnight. Silently asking permission, she in turn would stroke his cheek and kiss him again. Then after several sweet kisses he would move his great bulk over her and so their loving continued.

As Elsie lay in bed one night considering the martial bliss they had just had, she felt contented. She knew that something was missing, that what had just transpired between herself and the lovely Charles Carson was certainly not the thing that novels were written about and that young men died for. But it was nice. It was pleasant enough, there was no pain by this point and she did so love the look of wonder and joy upon his face. The way he muttered 'I love you' into her ear as his release washed over him. While she knew something was missing she did relish the fact that she was bringing joy to the one she loved most in the world and that was more than enough for her. Or so she thought.

It had happened by accident one night. As he lay over her, her welcoming thighs open to him, her nightgown pulled up between them and his pajama trousers pulled down just enough to allow for such an activity. He had brought one hand up to wipe at the sweat of his brow as he continued his rhythmic trusts into her warm depths. As he moved his hand back to its original position on the bed near her shoulder he had accidently grazed her breast.

"I'm sorry." He said, his rhythm broken by the unfamiliar contact he'd just made with her body.

"Don't be, that was…nice." She said softly, unsure how to convey to him how much pleasure she had gained from just the briefest of touches to her breast. She wanted to tell him to touch her again, over and over but found herself without the words.

"Truly?" he said pausing to take this new information in. To be honest he had thought about her breasts more and more as the days had gone by but he had been unsure how to approach such a topic. It seemed an inappropriate conversation topic for any mealtime and he was concerned that simply grabbing at her in the heat of the moment might be more brutish then loving. But now by happy accident he had a pathway. "May I…touch you again?" He asked cautiously.

"Yes, please do Charles." She whispered, holing in her breath.

Tentively he reached out and lay his hand over her breast. Perfect, he thought to himself, they were perfect. Her full, soft breast fit perfectly in his hand, as if the Lord God himself had designed the two pieces of them together. He began to softly squeeze the glorious mounds, delighting in their softness. Suddenly the nipple beneath his palm sprang to life and tickled his eager hand. This proved to be his undoing, while still holding tightly onto her heavy bosom he began to trust more erratically then he had ever previously. Any attempts at control were lost as he surrendered himself to the passions that seemed deeply programed within him.

She began to moan softly as his tough brought a new fire to her loins. As he pushed and pushed against her body she felt a coil of something wonderful deep in her belly. It began to pull tighter and tighter and suddenly she felt herself very close to something thought what it was she did not know. She only knew that between the cool of his lips on her neck, the softness of his hand on her breast and the hardness of his member inside her warm depths she was more contented than she had ever been in her entire life and more than she certainly could have ever dreamed. But before she could reach the unknown something that her body was inching towards she felt him shudder and collapse against her body.

Fighting the rush of disappointment that flooded her, she reached out and rubbed his back gently. Before she knew it he was sound asleep in her arms. As she began to drift off to dreamland she thought that perhaps they were getting close to that something that books and dreams were made of. She only hoped they would get to it soon, for she was determined once the secrets of the passions of the flesh were revealed to her, that she would enjoy them as much as humanly possible.


	3. Chapter 3

Elsie Carson was hot and bothered. Not in a sexual way she lamented to herself as she walked in the front door of their cottage. She had been standing on the village green waiting for him for almost an hour. They had decided to do their errands today together, it warmed Elsie's heart to see that even the thought of an afternoon apart worried Charles. In fact it seemed whenever she had the slightest cause to go somewhere without him, he would quickly find some such thing to bring himself along on the journey.

She had tried to be patient, she knew what great difficulty he had picking out his reading material. She had never thought it would be annoying to have so many books to choose from at the village library but when it came to Charles and his inability to make a decision she was getting rather peeved. She'd told him numerous times that if he began to read something and found himself disliking it that he should simply stop reading it and return it. The look of horror upon his face every time made her chuckle. Somehow the idea of not finishing a book once you had started it was just as equal to starting a war then refusing to fight it.

Today had been far too hot for her to stand around waiting for him. After forty-five minutes she had simply left and headed back to the cottage. He would figure it out when he came back to the green and she was gone.

Alone at last, she thought happily to herself as she made her way to their bedroom. She'd been itching to take off her black dress since she'd left the house that morning. What she really needed was to lay around naked for a while but that wasnt a very feasible idea…or was it? Charles wasn't home, likely he would be gone for a while and even if he did arrive home she would hear him and have plenty of time to cover herself.

She smiled a catlike smile as she deftly undid the buttons of her dress. Toeing her shoes off she slipped the garment off her body and tossed it across the chair at her large vanity, a rather useless gift from the Dowager. Quickly she began to disrobe, reaching behind her to unhook her brassier a rather new, yet wonderful invention she was falling hopelessly in love with. As she undid the clasps and let the garment fall to the floor she felt more relief then she had all day long.

What Elsie didn't know was that Charles was not at the library. That in fact he hadn't been at the library for some time. He had determined after a brief look at the options before him that he could not make a decision without her opinion. After finding her in the dress makers shop deep in conversation he had decided just to head home. Doubtless she would be annoyed with him. For it seemed now most every day there was something he did she found annoying. She was on edge all the time and he couldn't understand at all what had caused her odd moods. He had been standing in the bathroom pondering his reflection in the mirror when she arrived home. Normally he would have called out to her his presence but for some reason he simply didn't want to. He was rather worried that she would be angry with him for leaving without her, not wanting to start a row he waited in the bathroom.

Finally after hearing her rustling around in their bedroom he decided he ought to go and see how she was, perhaps if he could tell her how beautiful she was before she began yelling he might save himself the brunt of the blow. The sight that befell him as he walked into their room was one he had not prepared himself for.

Her back was to him, her beautiful, creamy bare back was to him. Her pert bottom was covered in black satin drawers he had never seen before, in fact he couldn't recall ever seeing her underwear. Now he realized how much he had been missing out on. Her elbows were out and were moving back and forth in a motion unfamiliar to him, suddenly it hit him that she was rubbing her breasts. He was instantly hard, he'd never seen anything more erotic in his entire life. His wife was in their bedroom, facing their bed, touching herself. She'd told him plainly enough how much she enjoyed it when he touched her breasts, he'd never considered that she might do it to herself sometime. Suddenly he thought of all the nights he'd spent in his room, touching himself roughly and thinking of her. Was it possible that this goddess like creature had been on the other side of the locked doors touching herself and thinking of him. His face turned bright red and his body began to tingle with excitement.

Still unaware of him in their room Elsie walked over and fell face down onto the bed. The cool sheets felt wonderful against her burning skin, if she had her way, she thought to herself, she'd never put on a stick of clothing again. But that of course would shock her dear sweet husband, he was probably unaware that humans could even be naked outside the bath. Perhaps he even wore his shorts in the bath she thought with a giggle. Folding her arms above her, she rested her head against them as she enjoyed the serenity of the moment.

Charles however was fighting a hard battle with his body. All he wanted to do was grab her, spread her legs and take her but he couldn't. He was a gentleman, or at least a husband, a good husband with a sweet wife who deserved to be cherished, not to be pounded into like the whores he saw on the streets of London. She was good and pure and he couldn't taint her body with his lust…could he?

As his mind waged an epic battle with his body he surveyed her form lying on their bed.

The new position now forced her already lovely bottom into an even more becoming position, but it was the sight of her black suspenders pushing into the flesh of her upper thigh that turned his brain off and his cock on.

"Elsie…" he said softly as he walked over to the bed, the bulge in his trousers leading the way.

"Charles!" She said shocked turning over to look at him.

Her twisting form revealed to his eyes a sight he had dreamed about since the day he met her. Her bare breasts bathed in the soft light of the day looked as though they were waiting for his touched, the hardened nipples rose up to meet his hands as he descended towards her on the bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Charles had never in his life experienced a rush of emotions, not the time Lady Sybil had died, sad as that had been, not even when his own mother had died. He had never lost control of himself, had never surrendered himself fully and utterly to his baser instincts. But as he stood starring at the partially naked body of his wife, the woman he loved above all else he felt himself give way. The rational part of his brain disappeared into oblivion as his hungry hands reached for the soft flesh of her body.

Elsie had been shocked to see him standing in their bedroom, she hadn't even thought about her nakedness as she turned over to look at him but from the almost predatorily look on his face she knew that somehow she had crossed an invisible line. But before she could cover herself or even speak he was on top of her.

Both his hands descended on her breasts, squeezing and rubbing the soft flesh. His lips crashed onto hers, his tongue fiercely pushing into her mouth and exploring every sweet sensation she had to offer. His hands began pinching her nipples as he drug his open mouth down her neck, cover her shoulder and landed on the taught peak of her breast. She gasped in surprise as his lips devoured the creamy flesh of her chest. His head moved back and forth from one breast to the other, sucking and licking powerfully. He looked almost like a rabid animal she thought briefly as his head moved with the speed of a snake in attack and his hands ran up and down her thighs. Suddenly his lips left her flesh and moved lower and lower. He had never encountered knickers before, not more then just pushing himself through the opening of them, but these offered no such easy access. Grunting in frustration at not being given the ease of access he desired of his goal he pushed the material to the side with one hand and pressed his face against her center.

Her moans had gotten louder and louder as his lips had moved down her body. Now her glorious husband was working his tongue against her in a way she had never even imaged could be done. She pressed one hand tight against her mouth to stop the scream building in her throat. With the other she pressed his head even tighter against her body. He was grunting and groaning as he pressed his tongue against every intimate part of her, further aroused by the forceful hand on his head.

Her body began to tremble, so much so he was forced to wrap his arms around her waist to hold her down. The constant rocking of her hips finally pushed him over the edge and with little thought or care he pushed down his still buttoned trousers, ripping them as he went, and pushed himself up and into the warm depths of his wife. As he thrust over and over, knocking the bedframe against he wall he dared to look down at her. One hand still rested firmly against her mouth, the other was clutching the rod iron of their headboard. He felt a pang of guilt, he was a gentleman who had turned into a beast.

"I'm sorry," he began moaning as he continued trusting into her, with every movement he begged forgiveness unable to stop himself. Suddenly her eyes went wide, she reared up and wrapped her arms around him as her body shuttered and she fell over the edge into divine and exquisite pleasure.

Holding her tightly he dropped them both down into the pillows of the bed, buried his face in her neck and yelled his release.

They both lay quietly for a moment trying to gather thoughts, trying to regulate their breathing. Slowly Charles peeled his sweaty body away from her and rolled over onto his back.

"I'm sorry Elsie." He said softly as tears beg an to stream down his face.

"Why?" she said, fearful he was already regretting the beauty they had just created.

"I'm an animal. I never should have lost control like that. I've never…I'm so sorry. I'll move into the second bedroom tonight. I'll never hurt you like that again." He said covering his face with his hands.

"If you move into the second bedroom tonight I will follow you there. Charles Carson I have never felt so good in my entire life." She said resting her hand against his chest.

"What?"

"Charles, I love you and that was the most amazing thing I have experienced in my entire life. I…I've been wondering what it was supposed to be like."

"Really?"

"Well yes, it seems most everything in the world revolved around men and women and frankly up until now I didn't really understand what all the fuss was about."

"But now?" He asked stroking the hand that lay on his chest.

"Now I shall slap any woman who dares to even look at you my man."

"I don't think you will have to do that Elsie, as I will never ever leave this bed again!"

**The End (or should it be…review please and let me know! ****) **


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